To my momma friends.

While I haven’t experienced it myself, I have watched those I love on their motherhood journey. I am the childless person that loves to hear about your momma life. The times when the kiddos have made you laugh until you cry. The times you have cried with them after a rough day at school. The times you have watched them during their preschool graduation. The times you struggle with potty training. The funny mealtime adventures. The personalities that show up every day.

I know that there are tears of joy, fear, sadness, anxiety, pride, ...the list goes on. Being a momma is hard.

As I listen, I sometimes wonder if we have cried the same amount of tears. Different reasons, of course. However, they are still for our children and their journey. I am just missing the stories that go along with the tears. I am missing the tears of joy. The tears of pride.

My tears are mainly sadness. Tears that long to hold a baby. To help a child journey through this life. The grief that continues to well up in my eyes. The knot that shows up in my throat. The churning in my stomach. These all show up when I hold the desires within. When I try to be ok.

So when I cry at your child’s birthday party...

Or tears flow at your baby shower...

Or I grab a tissue at a girl's night out...

When I step out of the room for a moment during your venting session...

Or I have to wipe my eyes when you tell me you are pregnant... Please know that this momma is happy for you. So happy.

But in these moments of happiness, I shed tears for my babies as well.  I may not be able to explain why I am crying, moody, distant, (insert any emotion) in the moment. Please know that I only long for the stories and experiences I don’t have.

I hope you understand.

Though it makes me sad that I don’t have the adventures to share, our relationship is important to me. I want to hear about your experiences. I want to know the joy that comes from having children. I want to create a connection with your children. I want to know the ups and downs of your Momma life.

I probably won’t be able to give advice. I won’t know first hand what it feels like to be up all night with a sick kiddo. Or the fear from their first big injury. I won't be able to relate to the frustration that comes your way.

But I can listen.

And laugh with you.

And share tears.

And give you a hug.

And help you know that while my babies aren't here on earth, I love you and your babies (and all of the adventures).

I long to have the stories of my children. I hold on to all the hope that I will be able to use what I have learned from your momma adventures.

Thank you for sharing with me.