As long as we both shall live.

When Aaron and I got married, we were very intentional about some of the details. This can be challenging when a constant in our relationship is having opposite opinions. I remember talking about wedding colors for hours. Browsing multiple venues until we got one that matched ‘our’ vision.  We find humor in our uncanny ability to choose the opposite in about every decision.

When it came to our vows, we knew that we didn’t want the traditional wording. While we loved the values and tradition it holds, our relationship is unique. Also, Aaron is a great writer and I wanted to share my ideas. I knew this process had potential to be quite challenging considering our difference of opinion.

Our minister sent us a packet with a variety of different styles to get us started in writing our own vows. At the time, Aaron was traveling for work and I was busy in my role. We knew that having time to review the packet together was unlikely. Therefore, we each narrowed it down to a couple of options that we liked the best. As I was reading, a specific example stood out to me and I made marks on a few lines that I wanted to adjust.

The following weekend Aaron and I met at his parents’ house to go over some details including our vows. He quickly flipped to the same example that I identified. As I looked as his notes, he had also marked the same lines to adjust.

Two people, so opposite…but on the same page about the things that mattered.

When we sat on the couch and talked about the vows that we would commit to on our wedding day, we never imagined how quickly we would experience the harder times. That we would question our purpose and every choice we make. That we would need to make decision about growing our family and our health so quickly. That we would have to find light through the simple moments in life and treasure them as we wait for the next ray of sunshine to come upon us.

During recent times, I think about our vows. The traditional wording ‘for better or worse’ was not in the lines of our vows. Neither were the lines, ‘in sickness and in health’. However, we are there.

The stress and pressure from being unable to expand our family has created anxiety, grief, and moments of depression. I had no idea that those words would be tested so early. No idea that we would experience the loss of 4 pregnancies and a precious puppy in such a short period of time.

We continue to experience times of distress and many tears, but I am so blessed to be able to share the laughter and to have Aaron's comfort. The growth of our love during this time has been unimaginable. While the yearning to hug our 4 kiddos we didn’t get to meet will never go away, I am thankful I get to hug their father and continue to walk this journey with him, ‘as long as we both shall live’.

I, Abbey, take you, Aaron

to be my husband,

my partner in life,

my best friend,

and my one true love.

In the presence of God,

I give you my promise

to stay by your side as your faithful wife.

to love you without reservation,

always be open and honest with you,

to comfort you in times of distress,

laugh with you and cry with you,

to value your thoughts and perspective

to grow with you, encourage you, inspire you,

and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.