Bring it all to the table.

I sit at the local coffee shop and type away. I receive a text from my husband, Aaron, asking about a recent business opportunity. I respond that I haven’t heard from them and am feeling anxious that it isn’t going to work out.

The journey to have kiddos has brought so many changes to our life. The one most prevalent for me is a career change. I have been off work for a few months and while it has been needed, it has been so hard. It has allowed the time to reflect on my journey and determine my priorities. It is so easy to stay busy to avoid the emotions and feelings that come along with the constant cycle of disappointment and more. Spending time in silence, meditation, sleeping, reading, embracing the stillness has allowed me to reconnect with myself and my faith.

Anxiety causes my eyes to well up with tears.

I have never been good at holding in my emotions and this season of life has made it even more challenging. I look up and see an older gentleman dressed in a sweater vest and sport jacket peering at me over his newspaper. He is at the other side of the room and he carries a sense of purpose and wisdom. As I look away, I make eye contact with a middle-aged man that is looking over his laptop in my direction. It is obvious that he has noticed my tears.

My headphones muffle out the surrounding sounds and the lyrics are so perfect. “Bring it all to the table…” rings in my ears and even more in my heart.

Trusting the guidance from God, I hear the message for this moment.

"This too shall pass. Life will change and experiences will build me. Enjoy these moments. Trust that He is building my future. That I will be showered with blessings beyond my imagination. Trust that He is holding us both(Aaron and I), along with our children. That they are taken care of until our hearts are ready for the adventures it will take to raise them. They are coming to this earth to do great things. They need us to be ready for the life that will create beings of change. Their hearts will do amazing things, so get in touch with your heart to help them. I love you and Jason. Your babies will be blessings-even more than you know. Heal your hearts."

Bring it all to the table. The message is so clear.

I weep.