Finding the balance between do and rest.

We must do everything we can. This message permeates our culture when it comes to almost everything. I often find that I allow myself rest when I can say, ‘I have done everything I can.’ Until then...I rush, stress, read, call, run, go. The message, I haven’t done enough until I have turned over every stone, is a constant in my mind. I frequent the cycle of identifying, informing, integrating and insult. And when that doesn’t satisfy my wants, I begin again. As women on this journey of the unknown, we continue to seek out the next thing that may be the answer. The one thing that may be the magic to life.

After years of not having a baby. I realize that this methodology is exhausting. I have spent many hours scouring the internet to identify the latest knowledge that I should consider to assist my fertility journey. The information I have gained has been so valuable. I have learned about the intricate details that are often overlooked when a baby comes easily. I have taken this knowledge and integrated it into my life. I have been able to heal wounds from my past and have made lifestyle changes that will impact my health forever. I have built a deeper relationship with my partner. I have learned how to set boundaries in my life. I have been able to explore my values and make the hard changes in order to live in congruence with them.

I believe there is a balance in this cyclical world on our journey to baby. A balancing force to the 'do and learn.' The other end of the spectrum is deep rest. The moments where you are able to be present. A rest that allows you to breathe and feel yourself. During a true moment of presence, you can experience emotions that are also beneficial to your journey. You can grieve, laugh, feel gratitude, show appreciation, release worry, just be. Allowing our body, soul, and mind to breathe.

Aren’t these things beneficial to your wellbeing as well? Won’t these things aid us on our journey to baby?

Breathing alone allows your body to heal. Imagine living each day as if you had just been scared. Think about how your heart races, how your body tenses up, how shallow and short your breathing becomes. We are experiencing something so scary. And our body may be living in that state each day as we live through the insult of infertility. By slowing your breathing, your body can release some of the stress you are experiencing. Your muscles relax. Your heart rate slows down. This adjustment alone will impact your hormones. Not to mention your mind and every day happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I could have meditated my way through the past 5+ years. Then again, I probably could have... but I needed the information I gathered. I need to moments of scouring for more knowledge. The relationships I built. I needed to know I had learned and integrated the things I felt were important to my spirit. But then I realized, there is value in the resting. There is value in listening to the still small voice, rather than spending all my moments searching for the next option. There is value in the balance when you allow yourself to find it. And have moments of rest.

While it is tempting to continue to search. To want the latest on each study. To reach for the next option... I encourage you to rest. To experience an evening walk. To pick up a hobby you loved before you began trying for baby. To enjoy a night out with friends. To read the book you put on your nightstand months ago. To play a game with friends. To recognize the beauty that surrounds you in the present.

It will be hard. You will fight the want to identify the next thing you will try. But I know you can do it. I know you will experience growth.

I know these moments will bring value to your life and begin the steps to finding balance between do and rest.