Become aware of your mind, body connection.

I won’t forget the first time I realized that the thoughts in my mind have a direct connection to the pain in my body.

While in college, my family was going through a particularly stressful time. I found myself especially frustrated about the lack of control I had over the situation. (This is still challenging for me.) In one of the harder moments, I found myself running in place, screaming in frustration with tears flowing.

I had considered going to see a counselor, but had talked myself out of it. I was fairly good at pulling myself through the emotions by means of sleep. It was late at night and the counseling office was closed, but I decided that a phone call was needed to ensure that I followed through. I left a short message. “Hello, This is Joana. I have been experiencing some anxiety at night. It is usually better in the morning, so I talk myself out of calling you. I decided tonight that leaving a message would prevent my mind taking over in the morning. I hope to hear back from you soon. Thank you.”

The next day, I received a call with a wonderfully pleasant voice on the other end. “Joana, I have been waiting for you to reach out.”

During my first session, she asked me to describe the feeling of worry in my body. I let her know about the knot in my stomach and described it in detail. I explained the times that I begin to notice it. She asked me to share the messages that I tell myself when it is present. I told her about the messages of worry, anger, fear, and hurt. She said that I must work through those messages before they create physical harm to my body.

At the time, we started creating a plan to work through each emotion. We developed messages to help me feel secure and confident as I approached the changes. Before long, I was moving through the emotions with less struggle. The knot in my stomach began to disappear more quickly and I began to walk with ease.

This was my introduction to the way emotions and life experiences can cause physical ailments if we ignore the signs.

A few years later, I was introduced to a book, You Can Heal Your Life, that presented these ideas with further detail. The author, Louise Hay, noticed and researched the correlation between messages we tell ourselves and emotions we feel with physical ailments or ‘dis-ease’. She shares her own experience of working through the resentment from past trauma and finding self-love to heal her own dis-ease, cervical cancer.

Our minds and the emotions we feel are very real. The energy our emotions hold can slow down our perfectly created bodies and create physical discomfort.

A fertility journey creates messages of doubt and insecurity. We experience fear and disappointment. There are moments of jealousy and defense. All of these emotions create a response.

Many times they come with a self-judgement attached. We feel bad for being jealous. We are ashamed of the insecurity we face. We don’t want others to know our deep disappointment. When we press these emotions even deeper, by not fully allowing ourself to experience them, they get stuck.

Our body is smart. It wants the best for us. If we don’t stay in tune with the feelings and the judgement we place on that emotions, it will send a stronger message. It reminds us of those silenced emotions through back pain, teeth grinding, a headache, or raised blood pressure.

Once your physical body has responded, our first response is to go to the doctor. To adjust the physical and address the pain. This may mean medication or a procedure. However, it may also mean that you need to feel through the emotions underlying the ailment.

What are the symbols connected to the pain you are experiencing?

For example, back pain. Your back supports your body’s structure. When it begins to hurt, you can ask yourself-How am I not feeling supported?

Another example, headaches. Your mind controls your body and is the thinking center. When you experience a headache, you may ask-What am I trying to control?

This awareness will begin to inform your conscious mind of the impact within the emotions that are harder to move through.

We go through so much on our journey to having a baby. It is inevitable that our body will hurt us at times. We won’t be perfect along the way and move through the emotions without something getting stuck. That is okay. Be aware of how these emotions and beliefs can impact your physical self as well.

I recommend taking time to read about the connection between the messages or emotions we believe and their impact on the body. Begin to define the ways you can help the feelings flow through your body without getting stuck in those common places.

It may mean more physical activity or spending time in front of a mirror and talking to yourself. It may mean crying without judgement or writing a letter to yourself.  It may mean having a hard conversation with a parent. It may mean spending time alone. It may mean quitting the job that is no longer serving you. You are the only one that can truly define what you need.

As you pay attention to the messages, my hope is that you gain awareness and listen to the needs of the emotions, messages, and beliefs before it becomes physical. That you honor yourself and understand that each experience and thought can flow through your body as part of life. That it doesn’t have to become a physical part of you. While this life experience and others are troubling, I know you can do it by offering yourself grace and love along the way.